TOOLBAG TUESDAY

Christmas always makes me feel like I’m 12 years old. In a good way.

Our family celebrates the holiday at the same house we grew up in, with most of the same family members. We all have the same meal duties, and we still get presents from “Santa.”

But when I was 12, however, I didn’t have a cell phone.  Or Facebook.

I often imagine the chaos that would have been inflicted on my formative years if I had to worry about how many “likes” my status updates got (which would probably have consisted of melancholic Dave Matthews Band and Counting Crows lyrics haha.)

Anyway.

Last week, I didn’t have to imagine a 12-year-old Facebook confrontation anymore, thanks to David, a guy who my friend Samantha dated.

They had broken up a YEAR  ago, yet David still held a grudge, and decided that he would take to Facebook to annoy/upset her.

It started with a snide comment on something she posted in a group page. He commented on the post, not attacking the merits of it, but attacking the poster herself. He called her stupid. Yes, stupid.

Then, the immature insults turned to a private Facebook message. David berated her over and over and over, acting as if they had broken up yesterday, rather than a year ago. 

Why was he wasting this much time and energy into telling her she was terrible and selfish and “an idiot”? Out of the blue??

Didn’t he have anything better to do???

He did.

“I have to go now, I have a date to get ready for,” David wrote.

Hahahahaha.

A date.

What, was she supposed to be jealous?

 (Is he going out with the head cheerleader?? Will he carry her schoolbag for her??) 

God, it was so childish.

“Nice jab” Samantha wrote back, rolling her eyes.

Really, BFD -She had been on several dates over the past the YEAR, and didn’t feel the need to advertise it.  

“Well, he must not like her very much if he’s wasting all this time and energy messaging you,” a friend pointed out.

“That’s true…” Samantha said, adding that when the Facebook conversation was cut off, it turned to  nasty text messages. David was even more brutal via text than he was online. 

Cyberbully.

Samantha finally stopped texting him back, since that’s clearly what he wanted.  She deleted his number and all the text messages from her phone.

The next day, however, David was back for more.

“DATE WENT GREAT!” he texted, bright and early. Before 10 a.m.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

So good that he couldn’t wait to text SAMANTHA???

Shouldn’t he be cooking this chick eggs or something??

Samantha didn’t text back.

That would have been stupid.

-Jenny