Tuesday, June 16, 2015

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

It never happens as cute as it does in the movies—nothing ever happens as cute as it does in the movies—where you meet a guy at a coffee shop, on a train, a bus, the gym and it’s just the perfect encounter.

No, it’s always something else—“yes, errr technically we met at a concert but we both were dating other people and then I bullied him into calling me after stalking him on Facebook for a month.” 

Or, "Yea, we met at a really cool  bar...where we decided to meet for our first online date.”

It’s never just plainly cute. Even if it starts out cute, like it did for my friend Molly when she met a guy at a gas station one Wednesday evening.

Yes. A guy she met at a gas station. 

Which I know doesn’t sound very cute, but wait. 

They didn't meet because he asked her for five cents to buy a loose cigarette or anything, but because she was behind him in line and she saw a scary bug on his back and flicked it off.

Haha

The guy turned around and Molly suddenly noticed how cute he was.

“Sorry...uhh...you had a bug on your back,” Molly said, blushing.

But rather than look at her like she was crazy, he asked, “Was it a scary bug?”

Cute.

“Yes,” she responded, smiling.

“Oh, well, thank God you were there. You saved my life,” he laughed.

He was buying a six-pack of beer.

Cute.

Haha

He dawdled a little so they both left the store at the same time and he offered her a beer from his six-pack for saving his life. 

She laughed and they introduced themselves to each other when he said, “Hey, do you want to go somewhere and grab a drink?”

“OK!” Molly said. It was crazy, but he was cute and nice and made her laugh and THIS COULD BE THE CUTEST HAPPILY EVER AFTER MOVIE PLOT EVER.

“Do you live around here?” he asked as he walked her to her car.

“No, but I work around here,” Molly said. “I work at the vet’s office right over there. I’m a veterinarian.”

“Oh yea?” he asked and Molly thought it was even cuter how impressed he was.

“Well, nevermind a drink. Come over to my house and take a look at my dog,” he said.

??????

Molly laughed again. 

But he wasn’t joking.

“Really, do you want to come over and look at my dog?” he asked, winking.

WHAT??!?!

WAS THIS SOME SORT OF EUPHEMISM?

“Umm...no,” Molly said. “I don’t go to strangers houses...”

...who I meet at gas stations, she said in her head.

“Well, OK, fine then,” he said, almost angrily. “Maybe I’ll see you at the VET’S OFFICE." 

!!!!!!!!!!???????

AND THEN HE LEFT.

LEFT!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

WHAT THE----??

HE ALREADY HAD HER IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND AGREEING TO MEET HIM FOR A DRINK AND HE LEFT HER. 

In the parking lot of the gas station.

LOL

His dog must be really "sick."

So no, this scenario would NOT make the cute encounter movie script. 

But it would be a comedy.

-Jenny

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