TOOLBAG TUESDAY

I got stood up last weekend by a guy I met on a stupid dating APP, and I’m pretty sure he stood me up because he saw me in person and then ran away.

…YES HUH.

Sure, there could be another explanation, but Andrew (real name!!!! F*CKER.) didn’t give me any other logical reason.

Andrew and I had chatted quite well on the APP and then via text message for two weeks before deciding to meet face to face.

He was funny and his texts made me laugh and I mentioned I was going to a festival with some friends and he said he’d also be there and we should meet up.

Great.

Now, it’s one thing to stand someone up by not following up on plans made in advance. 

Like, making someone clear their schedule for, say, Thursday, and then let Thursday come and go without a phone call, so they cleared their Thursday for nothing.

Or even to stand someone up the day OF your date, although that’s even more embarrassing because she probably took a shower and put on makeup...just to go to the grocery store to buy a box of wine.

But it’s QUITE another thing to show up at the same festival as your blind (blonde) date, CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE THERE, get a description of where blonde date was standing and how to recognize her ….and then not show up.

That was me last weekend: “The blonde by the stage with the hound dog mix on a Saints leash.”

…Getting stood up.

That was my biggest mistake. ME telling HIM where I was standing and what I looked like, completely wide open. 

Now HE had all the power to secretly peek at me from afar like a sniper and decide NOT to say hello.

I was the one sticking out like a sore thumb, the blonde with a very specific dog on a leash by the stage. 

There were no other blondes, and no other hound dogs.

It was humiliating.

I looked all around for 30 minutes after I sent the text to Andrew, making pathetic, hopeful eye contact at every male that looked as if he was walking in my direction.

(Andrew, on the other hand, was incredibly generic-looking in his online photos - young, athletic, brown hair, brown eyes, no facial hair or any definable features. He could have very well just walked by me without me noticing.)

Which he probably did.

After it was clear he wasn't showing up, I got pissed. 

Who DOES that to a person?? 

Why couldn't he have just sent a B.S. text with something like, “Big emergency – I just broke my leg?"

Or even one saying sorry.

But no. Thirty minutes of my life waiting for this douchebag who lacks even the tiniest dick thread of common decency.

And before you ask, YES, I KNOW HE WAS THERE because he knew there was a guy on stage playing drums dressed like a chicken. 

(In one of his earlier texts.)

So....C-O-O-L. I got to experience the WORST, rudest, most inconsiderate type of standing-up behavior ever.

Yes, I had a good time at the festival with my friends anyway, but the afternoon was tinged by the fact that I got completely, mortifyingly stood up...because I guess I wasn’t pretty enough.

Naturally, I blamed it on the dog.

“Wow. Lame.” I texted to Andrew several hours later, after lots of beer.

Unanswered.

Unanswered, just like the email from the online APP asking me why I quit.

-Jenny