Intergalactic Ignoramus

I went to a costume party this past weekend and didn't recognize anybody.

Wait, let me clarify. I DID recognize my friends. I did NOT recognize who they were dressed as. And we’re talking common characters here. Superheroes and villains! It's not their fault. I'm just ignorant. I called The Green Lantern The Green Hornet. Twice. I asked Princess Leia if her date was Luke Skywalker. I nervously asked The Riddler if he was, indeed, the Riddler. And who was this guy supposed to be?? (Hulk Hogan.....'s brother??) How is this possible, you ask? How could I not know comic book and TV characters that are so common they’re printed on little boys’ underoos? HOW??? Oh, right. I spent my childhood reading Barbie comics. And…I wasn’t allowed to watch movies. At the party (which was awesome), I felt kind of lame for not knowing such simple characters. And I just stopped asking people who they were dressed as when I was chided for not knowing that an Ewok is...like a cat or something. I also felt a bit out of place for not having trekked it (huh huh get it) to the costume shop for a memorable character of my own, like Beetle Juice or something. (I was dressed like a rose and my friend Meredith was a thorn. We did not take this very literally, although I still have a fake rose tattoo on my ankle that my mother questioned me about the next day.) But back to costumes. It’s the Star Wars that really gets me. “Hey, you and Princess Leia over here should hang out,” I told a robot-masked friend, who I assumed was Darth Vader. “Um, that’s a complete ‘nother world,” he said, matter-of-factly, before getting a beer at the bar. I still don’t know if that response meant that he was from Star Trek, and not Star Wars, or if there are several “worlds” in the Star Wars franchise.  (That guy looks like Darth to me.) DARTH VADER….WHO IS LUKE SKYWAKER’S FATHER…and LUKE SKYWALKER IS PRINCESS LEIA’S BROTHER…. DOES THAT MEAN DARTH VADAR IS HER DADDY, TOO?  These are things I need to know before Halloween. I gotta work on my Barbie costume. -Jenny