Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mother’s Day Top Five

Ahhh Mother’s Day. A day to tell mom just how much you love and appreciate her.
You should have SEEN the line at Burlington Coat Factory yesterday!!

I’ve got the best mom ever. As in, my life would literally fall down like a Jenga game if she wasn’t around to help me and guide me and tell me not to wear that low cut top because modesty is a virtue.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’ve compiled a list of the top five things my mom has done for me that I especially appreciate.

But since it’s much, much more than five (million)..and, uh...ongoing, I will list the top five things my mom has done for me THIS month.

Here’s to you, ma!!!!!

1.) Keeping up with my health
Oh, hello. I’m 29 years old and my mom made a dentist and eye doctor appointment for me. I’m going this week.

See, I lost my glasses, and decided that I was going to force my eyes to see things far away rather than go get new glasses.

Then my mom asked me how I was able to drive at night.

“Very…slowly,” I said.

The truth was, I’ve  been driving like Mr. Magoo. I’ve been missing street signs, I can’t find parking spots and I haven’t been able to properly read homeless people’s signs.

I got panicky in Home Depot and Wal Mart, because I literally couldn’t read the aisle signs.

But, no, I didn’t think to make another eye doctor appointment on my own. And then, without even asking, I got a call from my mom with a date and time and location of an eye doctor. Next week, y’all, I’M GONNA SEE THE LIGHT!!!!

(Also, she arranged for a teeth cleaning, because apparently people should get a teeth cleaning TWICE A YEAR. Ugh. I. hate. the dentist. But, thanks, mom. No one takes people who are missing teeth seriously.)

2.) Keeping up with my employment.
When I was laid off last year, (the summer of my discontent), I didn’t know what to do. I applied to jobs and didn’t hear anything. I fought regularly with the unemployment office and cried a lot. I gave up.
My mom didn’t.
She knew that in New Orleans, jobs are about who you know, more so than any other city. So she called in a few favors, got me an interview and come August I’ll be celebrating my one-year anniversary.
Also, she arranged for a lawyer to call the unemployment commission on my behalf because now they say I OWE THEM money. Jesus effingChrist.

3.) Keeping up with my apartment.
Yes, all the magazines say that by the time you are 30 years old, you should have at least one nice piece of furniture than was not previously owned by a family member. And I do. But having your mom donate a desk, mirror, chairs and framed Jazz Fest posters really ties the room(s) together.

4.) Keeping up with my New Orleans life.
My mom was one of the biggest supporters of me moving back to New Orleans after living in South Carolina for ten years. Even when I wasn’t. Even during the summer of my discontent. Every time I felt down on myself, down on my life, my mom was always the first person to list all my good qualities, all my accomplishments. And doesn’t that feel good?? She’s greatly improved my New Orleans life, most recently by giving me two Jazz Fest tickets last weekend.

5.) Keeping up with my writing.
Even though my mom doesn’t like Toolbag Tuesday, she’s my number one supporter of my writing. She submits my blog posts to magazines and online sites and is adamant that I am funny and clever and creative.

Thanks to my mom, my freelance has blossomed into print in TWINS Magazine and she’s trying to get me to be a paid blogger at the twins convention this summer. (hahhahaha what a bunch of genetic freaks).

She said she was going to submit my bluegrass festival blogpost to a bluegrass website and she’s constantly giving me ideas about articles I could write about for local newspapers and magazines.

It’s nice having someone to support you in life.

Cuz you can’t make it in this world alone (or without glasses).

Thanks, mom.


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