Tuesday, February 26, 2013

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

If a guy wants to date a complete and total bitch, that's his problem. 

I personally don't understand this, nor do I understand how bitchy girls always seem to have boyfriends, but apparently there are a bunch of guys out there that secretly want to be told what to do and want to get screamed at for leaving the house and not approving social plans 48-hours in advance for no good reason.  

C-o-o-l.

But there comes a point when a guy turns from dopey and p*ssy-whipped to just plain inconsiderate. And then makes it your problem.

So was the case with my friend Monica, who had been friends with this guy Alex for four years, and was suddenly "dumped" by him to be her PLATONIC date for an office Christmas party at the insistence of his new girlfriend he had met a month earlier. 

Four years > a month, no????

Oh, no. Not if you're spineless.

This new girlfriend had properly grabbed Alex by the balls and twisted them to the point that he agreed not be Monica's Christmas party date. 

It didn't matter that he and Monica had no romantic connection or any type of hook-up in their four years of being friends. That was irrelevant.

Monica only asked him to go because she didn't have a serious boyfriend, and this office Christmas party was kind of stiff and everyone was expected to bring someone.

Alex made her laugh and she assumed they'd have fun drinking punch, eating crumpets and making fun of her boss. 

She asked him to go with her three weeks before the party and he said absolutely, without hesitation. 

But as the date got closer, and as his new girlfriend infiltrated, Alex changed his tune.

What makes this particularly annoying is that this A-HOLE decides to break the news that he wasn't allowed "can't go" to the party on...THE DAY OF THE PARTY. 

Not two weeks out. Not one week out. Not even the day before. 

Monica had texted Alex the day of the party at 2 p.m. reminding him that the party was at 7 and where should they meet?

"Yea I was going to text you just now," he wrote back, ominously. "To tell you that I can't go."

WHAT??? 

"Why?" Monica asked. 

Then it came to her inbox --- the canned copy that homegirl must have forced him to write since this was not his demeanor nor anything Monica could imagine him coming up with on his own.

"It's just not appropriate for a guy to go to that type of thing with a female friend when he has a girlfriend," Alex wrote. (Haha third person)

THAT TYPE OF THING??? AN OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY???

It wasn't like couples massages in Belize.

I mean, did he NOT explain their completely platonic situation to his girlfriend of ten seconds??? 

How about: "Hey babe, I swear we're just friends. I'll bring you back some dessert, OK?" 

No. Apparently, it was now "inappropriate" for him to do things with his female friends. 
Monica wondered if he honestly believed that.

She stared at the phone, fuming.

What's worse, Alex didn't even apologize for standing her up…or standing her up the DAY OF THE PARTY. 

Her friend of four years!

Did it cross his mind that if he had told her the news earlier, she might have had time to find another date?? 

Now, she had no choice but to go alone. It was embarrassing. 

She wondered what would have happened had she not texted him at all that day, if he would have even told her he couldn't go or just not shown up and crossed his fingers that she wouldn't notice.

UGH. SPINELESS!!! 

Hope the bitch has strong arms to prop him up.

-Jenny

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