Friday, January 4, 2013

I’ve STILL (sort of, kind of) been watching you people


Happy New Year!!! 2013!!!! WOOOO!!!

I've decided that I like the way the number 2013 looks. It’s strong, and rugged, like how many pounds God can bench press or something.
Or the title of a movie about sweaty gladiators.

Anyway.

Do you remember how last year, I was all sneaky and had this invisible site tracker on this blog and saw how often you people read it and how you got to it?? 

And how my favorite part was reading everyone's dumb Google searches???

Well, guess what?? I'M STILL GOOGLE-SEARCH-STALKING YOU PEOPLE!!!

(Yes, unlike my fleeting obsession with Draw Something, Words with Friends and Voxer, this little piece of technology keeps on entertaining!)

Do you ever wish YOU could spy on people’s dumb Google searches?? Well then get yourself a big brother TRACKER and wait for the material to just roll in.

Year after year, I’m baffled by what people are searching for, and even more baffled that they're directed to this blog, which dispenses very little information.

As of today, 55,772 people have clicked on this blog in its three years of existence – averaging 38 people per day – and I can guarantee that 34 of them are looking for hair perms.

Hair perms!!! My most popular blog post of all time!

(Also, the post with the most unflattering photo of me. Wait, nevermind.)

Last year, my post about getting a shot in my ass for strep throat was the big winner (the combination of “butt shot,” “nurse” and “jenny” is still a porn reference but most people have figured out that my blog is not sexy) because this year, more people are trolling for the 1980s hair sensation!

More than even “Toolbag Tuesday!” Because people are still totally Googling “Toolbag Tuesday”!!!!

Goin global, y’all!!!

Over the past year, as I’ve done before, I’ve been collecting the funniest Google searches people have used so I can list them here and we can marvel at them together.

And, as was the case in years’ past, no one got any information from clicking on my blog.
Because WTF:

cartoon jesus is born

tag team pudding wrestling

high school bikini car

how to accidentally kill yourself

bacon tastes like rubber

surge soda

products that no longer exist

thriller outfit ideas

hot dog fingers

perms before and after

antibiotic shot on the butt pain making me laugh

I can get a shot for strep throat?

what days do you dress up for mardi gras

what ingredients are in a strep throat shot

Toolbag Tuesday blog

Toolbag Tuesday purses

I hate New York

how do I get tattoos of my twins

tight cold wave perm

nurse likes when she gives a woman a shot in her butt

!!

(Sorry, person from Alabama. You were no doubt disappointed. There weren't even any pictures on that post.)

Here’s to another year everyone!! Thanks for reading. May all of your dreams come true and may you never encounter a toolbag.

-Jenny

P.S. That perm was a complete disaster. Don’t do it! Don’t live in the 1980s!! Live in the 2013…with…sweaty gladiators. And butt shots.  

1 comment:

  1. Ok you must tell me how to get that tracker!

    ReplyDelete

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