Friday, December 30, 2011

I've been watching you people (2011 edition)

Does anyone remember last year when I wrote about how I got a tracker on my blog without telling anybody?

And I got to see where you people are from?

And I got to see how long you spend reading this blog?? AND ALL YOUR IP ADDRESSES??

Yea, I still have it.

Hello loyal readers from Canada!! And hello new reader from Australia!!
Are you by chance good-looking??

Ha.

You people's locations are hardly the most fun part of this site tracker, except when little icons of your foreign flags pop up. They're so cute. (P.S. How would you say "Toolbag" in Burmese?)

No...the best thing about this tracker is seeing the the referring page for this blog.

It's mostly through Facebook (THANKS FRIENDS!!!) but almost daily, people are referred to my blog from a dumb Google search.

Yes, I get to read people's dumb Google searches!!

And I can say with confidence that 90 percent of the people who clicked on my blog from a Google search did NOT get the answer they were looking for.

...unless they Google searched "Toolbag Tuesday"...BECAUSE PEOPLE TOTALLY GOOGLE SEARCH TOOLBAG TUESDAY!!!
Maybe I'll make some T-shirts.

So, what did I do with these Google searches? I did the same thing I did last year. I put them all into a Word document...while laughing.

Yet, tragedy struck when I got laid off from my job and the four-page Word document with ALL the searches I had collected was deleted when I wiped out my entire existence from the work computer.

D'OH!!!

But there's never a shortage of material when it comes to Google searches!!! In between screaming at the Louisiana Unemployment Commission, I've been collecting you people's Google searches since July.

And, I've solved a Google search mystery!

A lot of people were getting to my blog by searching for PORN with the names "Jenny and Joy" (which happens to be me and my twin sister's names)...and that made me suspicious.

But then I found out that there is Japanese CARTOON PORN (um...what) involving a "nurse Jenny" and "officer Joy" and that's really what people wanted to see, not hear about the adventures of me and my non-Asian twin...

Shouldn't the nurse wear the gloves??

It didn't help that I wrote a delightful blog about having strep throat this year and used the words "nurse," "Jenny," and "shot in the butt" (purely medical terms people!!!) because now I get a ton of internet traffic from people searching for "butt shot of nurse Jenny."

So, in addition to disappointing Japanese porn-lovers, here's what people Google-searched for hoping to learn by clicking on my blog:

Is it a good idea to use two running backs from the same team

robin quivers see through shirt

funny made up country names for beer Olympics

Toolbag Tuesday (yaaaay!!!)

JennySays

thriller dance arms

boyfriend goes zydeco dancing without me

twin tattoos

nurse ass shot

nurse patient butt shot

nurse put shot in my ass

gymnastics crab

the strep shot

nurse Jenny butt shot

jennyandjoy.com

mom biceps

salon permed hair

twin tattos

body wave perm before and after

"Wayne Campbell" catholic priest

grapes fancy dress

robin quivers nude

emma watson lipstick on teeth

my identical twin sister and I when we were babies

modern toilet paper holder

What are some Greek letters

grapes costume

what is colonel angus

Haha. That last one was quite a funny blog...you can read it here.

But, in all seriousness, thank you thank you THANK YOU EVERYONE from the bottom of my heart for reading!!!

27,614 people have read this blog since I started it as my New Year's resolution two years ago --- now averaging 40 people a day!!!

That's awesome!!!
Are you all bored at work too??

Thank you for letting me share my life and stories and I'm glad that at least some of you still want to be my friend in real life. Ha

I hope you have a great New Year and here's to a super bright future for each and every one of you!!

New Toolbag Tuesday suggestions welcome.

-Jenny

4 comments:

  1. I love everything about you. - officer joy

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  2. Happy New Year! Loving the blog. And as for me, yes I am bored at work too! Reading blogs sure come in handy then. Love the Toolbag stories, always nice to know you're not the only one who fell for total douchebags!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh please make Toolbag Tuesday shirts. I would buy one and wear it so proudly!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Above comment from Andrea, btw. Hahah.

    ReplyDelete

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