TOOLBAG TUESDAY

I don’t know a whole lot about memory loss among guys in their early 30s (I’m not a DOCTOR) but there are some guys out there who seem to forget that they say things like, “I love you” and “you’re the missing puzzle piece in my life” because they break up with you a month later and refer to the relationship as “whatever this is.”

LOL

LOL

OK, maybe that’s just Finn.

Finn is this guy who dated my friend Morgan for six months and used the above line extra thoughtfully when he broke up with her two days after her birthday.

“...or whatever day that was.”

LOL

Finn and Morgan met when he worked as a bartender and things moved fast right away. He was cute, sweet and in love with her immediately.

But I guess Finn can't be blamed for breaking up with her two days after her birthday since he forgot about her birthday and DIDN’T GET HER ANYTHING.

Wait...this sounds familiar....

Was this memory loss???

No. I take it back. He did get her a present.

He got her a Taylor Swift calendar.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhhhhh

WTF

And then he showed her a picture on his phone of what he was going to get her.

But didn’t.

And....

...it was a portable heater.

???????????

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was all so disappointing.

Morgan was super hurt by the fact that this guy who professed all his love for her didn’t do anything special.

(HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN HER A PUZZLE WITH A MISSING PIECE FOR CHRIST SAKE. GEEZ. THIS ISN’T HARD.)

She invited him over two days after to “talk ” about where they stand.

“This is how I feel about us and what is going on??" Morgan said. 

But she said Finn shut down completely. No more missing puzzle pieces.

"I think we might have...communication issues," she added when he stood there not speaking. 

Finn left her house somehow confused by how upset she was, and then didn’t return her calls and text messages for a week.

LOL 

He finally responded with: "You're right. We have to stop seeing each other, or whatever this is."

WHATEVER THIS IS???!?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"He would tell me he wanted to marry me and buy a house with me all the time" Morgan said.

"WHATEVER THIS IS???!?!"

“You’re the fucking worst,” she texted back.

LOL

LOL

(She actually wrote that.) Awesome.

Morgan was completely blindsided and distraught. First a ruined birthday, then a ruined after birthday and Christmas was right around the corner.

Who was this guy???

A guy with memory loss.

...Because that is seriously the only excuse I can think of for why OH WHY Finn decided that on Christmas day...TWO WEEKS LATER...he would send Morgan a picture of his niece playing with the PRESENT Morgan bought for her.

LOL

Taylor Swift should write a song about him!

...While we all remove him from our memories.

-Jenny