In times of crisis, like a hurricane, a tropical storm, or, I
don’t know…a 1,000 year FLOOD, it’s nice to have a boyfriend
around to protect you and your house; put up boards on the windows and scare
away things like spiders.
This is especially true if you're a lady homeowner and don’t have
the safety net of calling a landlord to do anything.
As such, if you live in a coastal area, I think this should be a standard dating question to anyone you date for more than three months:
If there was a big storm coming, would you watch a Harry Potter marathon...uhh stay with me?
For Leon ,
that answer was no.
No one wants to be alone for that!!
This is what boyfriends are for!!!
As county-issued announcements came that schools and offices would
be closed, Brittany panicked and
called Leon .
“Can you believe this?? I'm so nervous—the yard gets really flooded when it rains
for one afternoon!”
She expected Leon, the guy she had been dating for FIVE
months, who spent practically every night at her house, to batten down
the hatches with her.
He spent practically every night there. Eating her food
and using her toilet paper (lol ew) and all that. It was also a weekend, and, like most big storms that hit coastal areas, was determined just that Tuesday.
Uhhhh
“Yea, I’m going to go to Rock Hill (a few hours inland) with
some friends and dodge the storm,” he said.
UM.
What?
“What?” Brittany
asked. “What about me? I can’t leave my house!”
“Just text me,” he wrote.
Uhhhh
What??
Text you??!?!
WHO LEAVES THEIR GIRLFRIEND HANGING LIKE THAT??!??
Seriously??
JERK.
And then the storm came. Relentless rain pounded down for
days and days and days and the backyard turned into a complete lake. A rising
one.
“It’s coming up” she texted.
Then she stared at her phone for the next HOUR. And then
hours. And hours.
Nothing. No response.
UGH
Was he getting flooded, too? Brittany
checked the radar for Rock Hill.
No real rain.
And no text back.
NO TEXT BACK!!!!!!
Hours and hours went by.
“What are you doing?” she texted him at midnight .
He wrote back.
“Oh just having some beers with friends,” he wrote.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
C-O-O-L
Two more days passed with the incessant rain and flooding cooping up everyone
indoors.
…Which was a great time for Brittany
to reflect on things.
Fast forward several days later, when the rain finally
subsided and Brittany got WiFi back and looked at Leon ’s
Instagram account.
Apparently, he didn’t respond to her stressed out flooded out neighborhood photo
text, but he COPIED HER PICTURE and POSTED it to HIS account to show the social media world the flooding
in South Carolina .
LOL!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!
Ya'll
Really
HE RE-POSTED HER PICTURE (hahahahahahaha) yet couldn’t be
bothered to respond to said picture with so much as a, ‘Oh my God are you OK?’
response.
LOL
LOL\
HE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!
HE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!
LOSER!!!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(p.s. Another guy abusing social media!?!?!)
The ironic part was all of the “Are you OK??” posts people kept commenting on the photo.
That was supposed to be his line.
...To the photographer of the photo!!!
Yes, it took a 1,000 year flood to bring out Leon ’s
true colors, and a 1/100th of a millisecond for Brittany
to realize that Leon
was no man at all.
So now let's update.
Here’s the standard dating question to anyone you date for more than three months:
If a storm was coming, would you leave me all
alone and then steal my flooding picture and post it to Instagram as yours without asking if I'm alive?!??
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know what? On second thought, that doesn’t sound like anyone a lady homeowner should count on to scare away spiders.
-Jenny
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