JennySays...: How to throw an epic bachelorette party

It’s safe to say that if you’re still talking about a party several weeks later, that means it was PRETTY EFFING EPIC.

Which is exactly what I was going for: To throw my twin sister, Joy, an EPIC Bachelorette party.

AND GUESS WHAT!?

I DID IT!!!

I THREW AN EPIC BACHELORETTE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(high-fives self)

Let me tell you about this party, ya’ll.

Just in case you want to throw your OWN epic party.

Because aside from the surprise inflatable penis that made an appearance, this party could be the blueprint for any amazing family-type party—a literal family or a "friend family."

The key to success? Rent a beach house and have everyone equally chip in upfront for all the food and alcohol.

So that when they show up, all they need to do is take a deep breath and relax.

1,2,3....AHHHHHHH

This is exactly what happened from Sept. 17-20, 2015. Fourteen girls spent the weekend at a beach house in Edisto Beach, SC, and the only thing on the agenda was go to the beach, eat, drink, nap, repeat.

Oh and there was an outdoor shower too.

Joy was the one who requested a beach bachelorette, and not because those words sound good together.

It’s because the beach is the most fun, relaxing place in the world and no one would have to worry about things like, uh, the real world for three days.

This particular beach, about an hour south of Charleston, SC, is also the most relaxed beach in the area (less people, no beach police) and unlike Charleston beaches, alcohol is expressly allowed.

Fellow bridesmaid Katy deserves all the credit for finding and securing our particular beach house, discovering that if you book after Labor Day, the prices go down considerably even though it’s beach weather well into October in South Carolina.

I mean, really.

The beach house was accurately described as “shabby chic,” and it had a huge kitchen/living room area for communal games, cooking and eating.

The trickiest part was coming up with menus for 14 that would be delicious, but also cheap.

I decided on a build-your-own-sandwich bar with two panini presses on the counter.

This was not only cheap (bread, meat, cheese, condiments, tomatoes, lettuce) but also in the spirit of doing whatever the F you wanted during those three days.

Don’t want lunch? Don’t eat lunch.

Want lunch? Plug in the panini press and go nuts.

It literally matched the theme of the weekend to a T.

Dinner was family-style sit-down meals, with taco night Friday and pasta night Saturday, which was expertly planned, because those are crowd-pleasers and good drunk food sustenance and ground beef can be used for both.

And sandwich items like tomatoes and onion and cheese can also be used for tacos and HOLY SHIT I’M A GENIUS.

taco dinner duty

(Breakfast was eggs, cinnamon rolls, etc. but I never woke up early enough to actually eat breakfast. I hear it was good.)

Food was purchased at Costco (with a scouting trip beforehand pretending to buy everything and get prices) and Costco won over everyone’s hearts in both the price and quality.

(Consider them if you decide to throw your own 14-person, 3-day party.)

Now to the fun stuff: JOY.

This wasn’t just a girls’ vacation, this was A CELEBRATION OF JOY!!!! (Literally and figuratively)

Joy, who had 13 friends willing to spend nearly $100 each (plus the cost of gas) and take three days out of their lives to celebrate her final months of singledom.

Everyone pitched in to make the weekend so perfect for Joy—people stepped up to cook dinners and helped decorate the beach house with hand-made banners and “team bride” cups.

Four girls actually flew into town for the party.

One girl battled with the TV’s five remotes to find the LSU college football game that Saturday, Joy’s favorite.

When Joy and I arrived at the beach house on Thursday night around 8, the house was already decorated and set up for the weekend. (THANKS FRIENDS) and I swear I didn’t see Joy stop smiling once.

I bought heart-shaped sunglasses (Thanks, China!) for everyone to wear on the beach.

It was the perfect tie-in to show that we were all together celebrating the bride-to-be (Strangers on the beach stopped to say how cute they were and to give her marriage advice.)

Our friend Sara made a hand-made (hand-sewn!) sash and veil for Joy to wear on the beach over her bikini, and it was the most adorable thing ever, with her future last name on the back.

AND THE WEATHER WAS PERFECT!!!

Charades was a fun post-dinner game on Friday, and we split into two teams and picked dirty bachelorette words that I got off the internet.

(I wanted to play, too, so I didn’t look at the words when I printed them and cut them out with my eyes closed so some were wonky and cut-off but that was fun, too.)

It was the perfect opening night game, and Joy’s first charades of the word "cocktail" was one of the most memorable moments from the weekend.

ring toss!!!!

On Saturday night, Joy’s official “bachelorette party” night, we had pasta night, but there was a surprise: penis-shaped pasta!!!!

Can you see a tip???

I bought a box of these babies from an “adult” store (mom don’t ask).

They also have penis pasta at Spencer’s gifts in the mall but the mall is depressing, with hardly any nudity.

Surprise #2 was Joy’s favorite cake ever, A COOKIE CAKE FROM THE AMERICAN COOKIE COMPANY.

When I ordered this cake, I came across a problem: The “family” “Christian” American Cookie Company doesn’t believe in drawing penises on their cakes.

How rude!

However, with creativity I didn’t even know I had, I asked them to draw a palm tree...without any leaves.

I figured the base of the tree with coconuts would be a good representation.

“You just want...the trunk?” they asked.

“Yes.” I said, muffling my giggling. “We...uh...are adding our own leaves.”

When fellow beach-goer Kristin went to pick up the cake, they opened the box and said, “Is this OK?” and she also had to muffle her giggling.

A chocolate penis!!!

Surprise #3 was Joy GAMES.

We did the popular bachelorette games including a lingerie party and the game where we asked her fiancé, Daniel, to answer questions and then asked Joy the same questions to try and match his answers.

It was very funny, very drunken and Joy got most of the answers right, such as Who has colder toes in bed? and What is something thoughtful Joy does? (“I can’t believe he didn’t mention that I wash his coffee cup”) haha

Then there was Joy and Daniel trivia.

I hosted the game, which was played like bar trivia.

I divided everyone into teams of two, of lifelong friends paired with newer friends and bought everyone a little dry erase board and asked 20 questions about Joy and Daniel.

The winning team got prizes that were also purchased from the adult store. (LOL. mom.)

And then there was more drinking and laughing and running around on the beach after dark and maybe some skinny dipping in the ocean and catching up with every single person for good quality time.

And then more eating, more celebration, more hugging, more wine.