RULE #1: Single people don’t have rules.
#Truth.
There’s an eCard that explains this perfectly:
If there’s an eCard it MUST be true!!
You may think I’m joking but I’m not.
Go ahead! Call me at 4:45 a.m.!!! Buy me a ticket to the
Bahamas, leaving in an hour!
NO RULES!!!!
So basically, you can always tell someone isn’t really single when they throw around
rules for you:
No, I can NEVER hang
out on weekends....
No, you can’t come
visit me at my apartment. You can only visit me at my FRIEND’S apartment.
Hahahaha
Today, my friend Kelli gave me a new one.
“Don’t call me after 5 p.m.”
Ahahahahahaha
These specific instructions came from Rob, this guy she met at
a bar who was in town on vacation.
Rob, who spent the night at her
place. (Whoops).
Rob and his friend had followed Kelli (SINGLE!) and her roommate
(SINGLE!) home to their apartment after a night of drinking and chatting and
laughing and making out.
Rob was quick to show off his super toned body (with
shirtless pics on Kelli’s phone to prove it) and then jumped into her bed,
naked.
Kelli told him that it's one thing to make out all over town,
but she wasn’t interested in sleeping with him right away. He grudgingly passed out.
Then Rob woke up an hour later and walked into her roommate’s room, naked, and tried to
get under her covers.
After a weird NO, DUDE and an umm...you were making out with my FRIEND,
creep, Rob slept on the floor.
The next day, Rob and his couch-surfing
friend drove two hours back home. Kelli got a text message from him.
“Hey! Call me! But don’t call me after
5 p.m.” Rob instructed.
Hahaha
“What????”
Kelli called him at 3 p.m.
“Don’t call after 5 p.m.? What, do
you have a girlfriend?” Kelli asked,
half-joking.
“Well...actually...” he said. “I
have a fiancée.”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“...and we live together.”
Ahahaahahaha
I mean...DUH.
“So I can’t talk to you anymore!”
Rob said. “You can NOT contact me
anymore!”
Hahaha
Rules, rules RULES!
(FYI: HE gave her HIS number.)
“Don’t worry, you definitely won’t be hearing from me
again,” Kelli said.
Then she and her roommate talked
shit about both of them for the rest of the hour—Rob for being a massive
cheater...side note: WHY AREN’T GUYS REQUIRED TO WEAR ENGAGEMENT RINGS??!?!—and also his friend, for letting him.
(Tool by association.)
I MEAN GAW.
I MEAN GAW.
DON’T THEY HAVE ANY RULES???
Kelli kept her promise and hasn’t
contacted Rob again. But she did keep the picture of his hot body. Which she
forwarded to all her girl friends.
Because she can do whatever the F*ck
she wants.
:)
-Jenny