Thursday, April 18, 2013

Long-distance twins

It’s my 30th birthday tomorrow, which means it’s also my twin sister Joy's 30th birthday tomorrow.

I know...GET OUTTA TOWN!!!

Do you remember how people used to ask us all the time if we had the same birthday??

“Ya’ll are twins?? For real?? You got the same birthday???”

Really, that was the number one question, followed by “do you have the same mom?” and “do you have the same dad?”

("Yes, we're just like regular sisters, only we were born at the same time.")

For the past three years, however, we’re asked a new question: how can you and your twin live so far apart? 

They mean New Orleans to South Carolina.

And I don’t really have an answer. It sucks. It sucks about as much as it would if you lived away from your sibling and best friend at the same time. 

And…your therapist. 
And your personal comedian. 

But when you plan your life in a particular place, you sacrifice things.

Joy and I talk on the phone every single day. Seriously, and on the proper phone.

We Facetime sometimes, but I don’t want to see her face because it makes me miss her too much, and I don’t want to see my face because Facetime makes it look like my forehead is running away from my body.

Joy and I talk like a couple in a long-distance relationship. 

We scold each other when one of us doesn't call the other back in a timely manner, or scold the one responsible for us not talking daily. 


“Ummm…excuse me, I did call you back, yes I did, I’m going to check my outgoing calls!” 

I remember when we separated time zones for college, when I went to South Carolina and she went to Baton Rouge. (How the tables have turned…)

It was hard then, too, and I kept for a long time a hilarious note she wrote to me saying, “Our official call day is Sunday!


Yea, Sunday and every other day of the week.

And this was years before we had cell phones.

Joy actually missed class one day talking me out of a freakout because she couldn’t leave the landline/dorm room. Haha. Dorms.

When I studied abroad in Spain, I bought a cell phone and paid $1 euro per minute…PER MINUTE…to call Joy in Baton Rouge.

Sure, it was cheaper using a calling card at a pay phone which I did, but drunk Jenny thought euros were really Monopoly money and I blew a lot of (pre-paid) cash on long-distance calls to Joy. Worth it.

When we got our first cell phones as sophomores in college, our mom signed us up for unlimited calling to each other’s phone, and for good reason. We checked the settings on our phones one day to see how many hours we spent talking to each other and it was literally thousands. 
Thousands of hours.

Joy and I don’t text, though. That’s one quirky thing, since in general I text more than I talk on my phone. But, for us, texting would just be a lesser version of talking.   

We only text each other when we’re at work and/or in a pinch –“What’s your address I need it for 401k shit” or “Your SSN ends in XXXX right???”

(For those that are curious, we have the same social security number except for the last four digits. But that’s probably not that weird.)

Also NOT weird?? That our birthdays are on the same day.


Joy told me on the phone this week that she’s feeling "uneasy" about being 30 years old, to which I responded, “Oh, so you think I’M old??"

This is the same script as anything else we say to each other that is self-loathing.

"It's so annoying trying to find jeans. My body is so awkward."
"Oh, so you think MY body is awkward???"

"I have crow’s feet around my eyes in that picture.”
“Oh, you think I have crow’s feet?”

Hahahaha (ca-caw ca-caw)

But guess what??? 

We don’t have to be long-distance twins for our birthday this year because JOY IS FLYING TO NEW ORLEANS TODAY!!! I haven’t seen her since January!

I hope she brought some new clothes with her. Ha. (Yes, twins share clothes, duh.)

In college, we didn’t always spend our birthdays side by side, but that’s because there are spring exams and your birthday doesn’t always land on a weekend.

But for the better part of the last decade when we lived together in South Carolina and since I've moved back home, there was never any question that we would spend our birthday together. 

Delta Airlines loves us. 

And I’m dying with excitement to pick her up from the airport tonight. Best. present. ever.!!! 

Best of all, we won’t be talking to each other on the phone at all this weekend! 

No more missed calls, no more speaker phone while one of us brushes our teeth – “I AM listening! IM brushingmyteefyoureonspeakerffffone

NO! This weekend, we’ll get to talk to each other face to face!!! The way it was supposed to be!!! The way God intended!!

hope someone asks us if we have the same birthday. 
Or the same social security number.


Love you, Joy.



  1. Happy Birthday to both of you? You do have the same birthday, don't you? :)

  2. Happy Belated Birthday to you!!! Oh and fun fact, they (Big Brother) doesn't have twins have SSN close like that any more!!!


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