Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Screw dat

So, the electric company came to my street on Monday and Avatar-like hacked up the beautiful Oak tree in front of my house.

Not only did it ruin the afterglow from the Saints’ win at the Superbowl the night before, but the company’s chainsaws made it impossible to sleep off the Abita beer, WHO DAT shots and celebratory champagne.

“SOMEONE WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THIS!” I threatened the crew supervisor, after noticing that 50 percent of the tree had been butchered.

It wasn’t just any tree. It was one of the reasons why Joy, my twin sister, and I bought our particular house in South Carolina.
It added value and character to the house — “DO Y’ALL KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??????? DO YOU?” I shouted at the crew. “NO, YOU DON’T!! YOU CUT TOO MUCH AND IT LOOKS HORRIBLE AND YOU DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIVE HERE!!!”

It was such a beautiful tree, it could have lined St. Charles Avenue in uptown New Orleans.

Yes, back to New Orleans. What an epic win! WHO DAT! Too bad I had less than 24 hours to be happy about it until Monday’s Chop Job ruined my spirit.

I want to be celebrating the Saints’ win properly, with big smiles and big beers, not threatening tree-cutting crews and yelling until I’m blue in the face.

I’d rather stay up all night doing a second-line with a glittery umbrella then toss and turn in bed stressing over what other “choice words” I could have told the electric company’s “forester.”

I want to walk around the city with a Saints Jersey on and have people shout “WHO DAT WHO DAT WHO DAT!!!!” over the loudspeaker in the grocery store.
NOT: “Didn’t you get the memo we sent out about the tree trimming last November?” LAST NOVEMBER???? IT'S FEBRUARY!!

Everything about the tree cutting was the exact opposite of the Saints win.

Saints win-------------------------->Tree cutting
Happy ---------------------------------->Sad
Planned on it -------------------------->Blindsided
Hoping to repeat next year --------->Hoping all chainsaws get discontinued

Since I can’t very well fast-forward, oh, FIVE YEARS until the tree grows back, and the company has done nothing to appease me, I have, unfortunately, been unable to fully rejoice in the Superbowl win.

I know, it’s unforgivable.

I keep trying to move on, but the electric company’s tree mutilation has put a gray cloud over my (Saints) parade. Literally.

Everyone just loved the Saints parade in New Orleans Tuesday night. Who wouldn't? Every major Mardi Gras parade came together, donating a float each carrying true royalty atop.

I know how hard people shout at floats during the regular parades with regular people riding; I can't even imagine the cheers Drew Brees or Sean Payton got. And my man, Reggie. Hope you didn't get too cold, Reg! THROW ME SOMETHIN!

I wish I could have been there so bad.

Maybe that was it — wanting to be there celebrating— combined with being so annoyed about the way my tree looks that I used the "trimming" incident as a reason to (maturely) bash the state of South Carolina.

“This is exactly why I need to leave this place!” I told Joy, who is equally as upset over our missing tree branches. “Nobody cares about anything around here! They don’t care about you and they don’t care about me!” I wailed.

"They don't care about life!

“Electric companies do this everywhere,” Joy said.
“Not in New Orleans!” I shouted. “They don’t have the manpower to do unnecessary trimming work! Mom and dad still don’t get mail everyday!”

We bashed the electric company together, which made me feel better. (Until I got home and pulled into my no-longer-shaded driveway.)
I’d like to think the electric company in New Orleans wouldn’t overly hack up a perfectly good Oak tree in the name of power line public safety.
One thing I know for sure: they would never do it the day after the Saints won the Superbowl.


1 comment:

  1. What, no photo of the tree? Before or after?


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