Tuesday, April 23, 2013

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

I still remember (and still laugh about) a Blind Date episode…Blind Date best show ever…where the guy got really drunk and made fun of the girl he was set up with for no good reason. 

I guess he knew there was no love connection, so he figured it didn't matter if he turned into a complete asshole.

"YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE AVERAGE," he told his date in the cab, slurring. "You're average-looking; you're average intelligence. You're just average!" 

When she tried to respond, he got angry and cut her off: "Whatever, AVERAGE!

hahahahahahaha

What a tool. 

I didn't think people like that existed in real life - people that turned into complete d-bags when they realized they weren't interested in someone they've been set up with - but then I heard this story about Jason.

Jason is this guy my friend Shannon set up with her friend Michelle. 

Shannon is married, and therefore not interested in Jason even though he's good-looking and normally very pleasant. She thought he and Michelle would get along well. 

It was Shannon's birthday party coming up at a cute tapas restaurant, and she invited both Jason and Michelle to the party and strategically sat them next to each other. 

It didn't take long for Jason to become bored.

Apparently, he was uninterested in Michelle's recent yoga instructor certification or the practice at all. 

But instead of smiling and nodding on the outside while rolling his eyes on the inside like everyone else who goes on a bad date, he started making fun of her in front of everyone.

"Yoga is so BORING," Jason said loudly. "I'm so bored with hearing about yoga, I can't even stand it."  

Michelle had been talking about yoga for a total of four minutes. 

Everyone at the table got really uncomfortable with Jason now making fun of someone's career and passion, especially someone he was supposed to be set up with.

Didn't his mamma teach him any manners??!?!?!?! 

Shannon tried to make light of it and pass Jason’s comments off as a joke (“Jason, stop being retarded”) but that made everyone even more uncomfortable. 

It didn't matter; Michelle, a practitioner of patience, meditation and mind over matter, ignored him and started talking to someone else. 

F.Y.I. Jason wasn't her type either, but she wasn't about to make a scene at someone else's birthday party about it.  

But then Jason took it into overdrive. 

He got so wasted that he forgot where he was…and who was sitting next to him.

"HEY SHANNON!" he yelled loudly across the table an HOUR later. "Remember that BORING girl you tried to set me up with who talked about nothing but YOGA?!?!?!" 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

Uh. Yea. She was still there. 

She was still sitting right next to him.

Dude. 

Everyone at the table just shook their heads.

BELOW average.

-Jenny

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