Tuesday, August 7, 2012

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

Weddings can be tricky to bring a date to, especially when you don’t really have a defined relationship with said date.

Like, even though your date spends the night at your place frequently, are you allowed to hit on other other people at the reception?

Or, not tell someone hitting on YOU that you’re with a date?

Is it OK, if your date is not your proper boyfriend or girlfriend, to ignore them for a good portion of the night?

No.

Miss Manners says you can not do any of these things at a wedding.

This isn't a crawfish boil. This is your PLUS ONE, people. Have some respect. (Also, God is watching.)

As such, if you ARE interested in doing any of the above things, then just go to the wedding alone.

Chance, this guy my friend Marie dated, not only turned out to be a shitty wedding date, but also a shitty person. And it only took the uniting of two souls before the presence of God to figure it out.

Chance and Marie had been hooking up on-and-off for about a year and he surprised her by inviting her as his date to a wedding that he was standing in.

...If only he had gone alone.

He certainly considered going alone, based on a thoughtful text to Marie the next day saying that he "debated 100 percent” about whether asking her to attend or not.

(C-o-o-l.)

Since Chance was in the wedding, ALL EYES ON HIM, YA’LL, he frequently left Marie alone to go mingle with others, take pictures or dance with other people. During the three-hour reception, I never saw him sitting next to her once.

Marie was (somehow) fine with it, sitting at the table talking to mutual friends and getting her own drinks.
It was at the after-party, after the reception, that things got un-holy (haha).

Marie was finally looking forward to hanging out with him, yet he seemed more interested in another female guest, who had wedged herself between his bar stool and the bar so that his legs were sort of straddling her, and she was facing him.

Marie frowned.

“What are you doing?” she asked, as she pulled Chance aside. “Why are you sitting there getting hit on like that? I’m your date.”

He could have changed the course right there. He could have said, Oh, I didn't know, whoops my bad babe let's get you a drink.

(Oh and P.S. sorry I've been MIA for the whole wedding!!!!)

No. Chance didn’t agree that he was being hit on, told her it was nothing, and walked back to the bar, same spot, and proceeded to let the same thing happen again.

Not even the most casual hook up partner would have put up with that.

(I, for one, would have slapped him.)

Marie yanked him aside for the second time, and that’s when Chance told her that the REAL problem here, the REAL problem, was that "you're just DRUNK and stealing my night away."

Hahahahahahahha
Stealing your night away from what exactly?

From home girl??

A fight then ensued, in which Chance said, “you're really stepping on my toes here.”

Hahahahahaha

No, Chance, your NON-date is stepping on your toes, and you're not doing anything to stop it.

He was almost encouraging the flirting. 
It was hurtful.

But then it got worse.

By that late hour, Chance was angry and drunk and when Marie asked him if she should just go home, he replied, “I DON'T CARE. I DON'T CARE WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE!”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JAW DROP.

…Coming from someone who she had been spending time wasting her time with for almost a year.

Marie took a cab home and cried.
“I’ve never been so insulted in my whole life,” she texted him the next day.

But Chance wasn’t apologizing. This wasn’t going to be his fault.

"Look I was reluctant and didn’t want a date to the wedding…guess you didn’t pick up on that,” he wrote.

(Side note: THEN DON’T ASK. )

He goes on:

“Just take what I said how you want to, you big baby,” he wrote.

(Side note: ??????#%$%##^@&#)

And the finish: “…And take responsibility for YOUR bad behavior.”

UGH.

WHAT bad behavior???

Bring him back to the church!!
That guy needs a proper beating from a nun.

-Jenny 

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