Tuesday, March 29, 2016

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

It’s nice to know that even if you don’t personally get a sketchy vibe from your date, there are always eyes and ears watching.

(This is why it’s a good idea to go somewhere in public.)

My friend Giselle explains: “I met this guy online, and on our third date we were at a bar for a drink and a random guy came up and said, ‘Hi, are you Charles?’ To which Charles responded, ‘Yeah! You must be Rachel’s brother.’”

(Uhhhhh)

Giselle raised her eyebrows but no one clued her in.

The guy says, "Can I talk to you for a second over here?"

(Uhhhhh)

Giselle said that Charles left her at the bar while he had a three-minute conversation with the guy.

Was this a drug deal???

They had already finished their drinks and were getting ready to go, so when Charles got back from his conversation, they grabbed their coats and headed out the door.

"That was weird... What did he want to talk to you about?" Giselle asked. 

"He wanted to know if we were on a date or something," Charles said.

"Why?"

"Oh, his sister Rachel, she must have a crush on me or something." 

Or something. LOL

Obviously this was a red flag. 

"So, he just pulled you over and asked you if you were on a date because his sister has a crush on you?” Giselle asked.

Charles responded: "Yeah, well Rachel is a weird girl, and he's her twin brother, so I guess that's just how they are." 


LOL

(Ed note: TWINS AREN’T WEIRD!!!!) 

Giselle, who isn’t an idiot (or weird), clearly knew something was off. 

“None of my questions were being answered in any plausible manner, and so I just straight out said, ‘Hey, we're not exclusive, so you can tell me if you're seeing Rachel. I'd like to know." 

"I don't have a girlfriend. There is no Rachel," Charles said. 

THERE IS NO RACHEL. 

How dramatic.

Giselle said she was still “skeeved,” but since they had only been on three dates and had only slept together once, she didn’t feel like she needed to get super upset. 

LOL

But then, shortly after that night, Charles got distant. 

He'd respond to her texts with one-word answers and stopped asking when she was free to hang out. 

So Giselle did what any normal 30-something female would do: She looked him up on Facebook. 

A photo. Of Charles and a girl. 

Caption: "Me and Charles." 
Posted by: Rachel
Comments: "Oh my gosh! You two are so cute!" "Great seeing you guys the other day!” etc.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I thought THERE WAS NO RACHEL, CHARLES. 

It was clear from the likes and comments that Charles wasn’t just a guy friend or a crush (LOL); they were definitely together.

...Unless that was Rachel's twin brother in drag. 

(Weirdo)

LOL 

-Jenny

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