Wednesday, November 18, 2015

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

The number one complaint among my female friends about dating, especially with online dating, is this: they meet a dude at a restaurant, order two beers and a taco and he still asks the server to split the bill.

Ugh.

Uhhhhh

Do I need to remind guys that paying for dinner is a way to impress someone???

This is another shitty thing about dating in the X or Y or millennial or whatever else they’re calling this generation:

Dealing with cheap guys.

WHEN DID THIS BECOME ACCEPTABLE????

WAIT UNTIL PAYDAY BEFORE ASKING A GIRL OUT!!!

(Also, your chances of being considered for a long-term relationship go down considerably when you can’t afford to pay for two beers and a damn taco.)

There are many ways guys try to squirrel out of not paying for dinner, even though they definitely were raised knowing it’s the chivalrous thing to do.

“You get this one, I’ll get the next.” (eye roll)

“You make more money than I do.” (eye roll)

“I’m out of cash.” (eye roll)

Or, the most infuriating no explanation (explanation: cheap asshole) of nonchalantly asking the server to split the bill and then continuing on the conversation like nothing had changed.

This guy Charles, who my friend Katie met online, decided to take it up a notch.

He decided to SQUIRREL out of paying for the bill with a new tactic: by invoking the women’s movement.

LOL

When the bill arrived for his beers and for Katie's TWO BEERS, he thoughtfully said, “Hey...you’re a progressive female...right?”

LOL

LOL

“Um...yea...” Katie said, suspicious.

She worked in a male-dominated industry and was subject to assholes all the time.

“Ok, so then you DON’T want me to pay for your beers,” he said. 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Of course Charles phrased it so that if Katie accepted him paying for her beers, she’d be a bad empowered woman.

A cheap, manipulative asshole. 

As an empowered woman, Katie (after her eye roll), turned his very argument on him.

“Well...when women make as much as men do, then I’d agree to split it,” she said. 

“But since I make 80 cents for every dollar you make, you can pay the bill.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Charles laughed but didn’t change his stance on the bill though, because Katie learned HE DIDN’T HAVE A JOB, and therefore makes zero cents for every 80 cents she makes.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously!

Here's a guy with NO JOB asking out girls online and then instead of admitting that he’s too broke and cheap to pay the bill throws an, “you’re an empowered woman” line at her.

LOL

EQUALITY!

GROSS.

Charles is the absolute last person any girl would want to waste their time on.

...Or their 80 cents.

-Jenny

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