Tuesday, July 23, 2013

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

How is it possible to bust a complete stranger who just got your number??? 

without the use of Facebook???

Without knowing anything about them, no mutual friends, no background information, zilch????

Just work for a newspaper. 

We…know…everything….MUHAHAHAHAHA

Just kidding.
….OR AM I?

The truth was this bust was just a perfectly-timed coincidence, probably the work of this dude's KARMA ruining his game. 

Taylor met my friend Brenna at bar trivia. She was sitting nearby on another team, but Taylor kept getting her attention and smiling at her. 

Brenna, who was single at the time, was flattered, and Taylor wasn't hideous, so she smiled back. He introduced himself and told her she was the prettiest person in the bar (blush). 

The next week at trivia, Taylor and Brenna talked for a few minutes about what she did for a living. 

Brenna told him she was the graphic designer for a local newspaper and he seemed to think that was super cool (It is). He then made his move at the end of the game. 

The last trivia question asked players to decipher a whole bunch of Roman numerals into regular numbers, and Taylor used that opportunity to get her actual phone number. 

"Here," he said handing her a piece of paper. "Write down your number…not in Roman numerals." They both laughed. It was cute. She hoped he'd call that weekend. 

But he didn't. 

Brenna frowned when he didn't show up at trivia the next week. Was he injured? In jail?? 

A few days after his noticeable absence, Brenna was working double duty at the newspaper answering phones and taking down classified ads in the secretary's absence. 

"The XXXX Journal, this is Brenna," she said when the phone rang. 

"Brenna?" asked a male voice on the other end. "Brenna from bar trivia?"

She paused for a second - WHO IS THIS PERSON WHO KNOWS SHE PLAYS BAR TRIVIA ON FRIDAYS??? - when the voice said, "This is Taylor."

"Oh!" Brenna said, awkward. Then confused...she had given him her CELL phone number...right??

"Um, what's…up?" she asked.

"I was calling about putting a garage sale in the paper," he said. "I didn't know you answered the phones." 

(Translation: I didn't mean to call you personally, even though I now have TWO numbers to reach you)

"Oh, yea, well, I can still take down the information," Brenna said, trying to be professional. 

"It's a moving sale," Taylor said. "We're selling a living room set (ed note: who buys living room sets anymore??) and a lot of kitchen stuff and clothes."

"Clothes?" Brenna asked, the word "we" running through her head. "What kinds of clothes? Children's clothes? Men's clothes?"

"Mens…" he said.

…and women's." 

Brenna said there was a very obvious pause, which made it very obvious to her that she shouldn't expect a call for a date because he already HAD someone to go on a date with. 

Pause.

"Ok, got it, men's and women's clothes," Brenna said. "And a living room set."

"Yea," Taylor said trying to be chummy all of a sudden. "We're moving closer to downtown."

WE.
COOL.

Taylor of course didn't elaborate on the 'we' - "they're my mom's clothes!!! they're my EX-girlfriends clothes!" - because they were neither.

"Ok, well, I need your credit card now then," Brenna said curtly, not addressing the details of his garage sale. 

She cursed herself for telling her roommate the day before how excited she was that someone had gotten her number.

A quick Facebook check of his full name (thanks Mastercard!!!) showed that he was, in fact, with another girl.

UGH. 

Why go through all that flirting and chatting and using the cheesiest pickup line EVER to get someone's number if you're LIVING WITH A GIRL, SIGNING A NEW LEASE WITH A GIRL and WE, WE, WE-ING ALL OVER TOWN??

Does this constitute cheating?? 
Because that's grounds for being disqualified in bar trivia. 

Either way, he's in last place.

-Jenny

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