Tuesday, July 16, 2013

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

They say don't judge a book by its cover, which I always thought was about not ruling out ugly things because they can be beautiful inside, like Pit Bulls. 
Ha.

Unfortunately, it goes the other way too. Don't judge a pretty book by its pretty outsides because it could have shitty contents...and an unsatisfying ending. (Hey-yooo!!!!)

Dating using this philosophy is tricky. 

The first scenario is a win-win - maybe you'll meet someone who may not appear in the next hot firefighters calendar, but they've got heart and soul and know exactly how to calm you down in a pinch. 
WIN!

But, since dating is shallow,  you end up checking out all the pretty books from the library and then realize after the first chapter that the book is a goddamn mess.

My friend Nikki learned this the hard way after she checked out Ray, the prettiest book in the whole store

They met dancing at a bar and locked eyes and kept running into each other at various restaurants and social circles. 

He was "super cute and successful," Nicki recalls. So she accepted a date.

Ray was a high-end real estate agent, lived a big flashy life, knew everyone in the city and ate a lot of sushi. He was perfect.

They dated for SEVERAL MONTHS when Nikki became bothered by the fact that he never invited her over to his place. 

She said he would either drop her off or, if he had too much to drink, he'd spend the night. 

Odd, Nikki thought. She was really looking forward to seeing what this high-flying real estate agent's living quarters were like. 

Why wouldn't he want her to see his house?!

But since you don't very well invite yourself over, she didn't saying anything. 

Ray and Nikki continued to go on dates, him telling her about his grand life as the king of (insert super nice development community here). 

But then he started to unravel.

Nikki said one night at dinner after several drinks he said, "Yea, I can't wait until I have my own car again!" 

"Wait, what do you mean?" Nikki asked. 

Ray had been driving and picking her up in a high-end Range Rover (PRETTY!!!) for a month now. 

Whose car was that?? 

Nicki said when she asked him again what that meant, Ray acted confused, "like he didn't say it." 

So Nikki pushed him more. 

A couple of nights later she insisted she drive so she could pick him up at his house for the first time (It does exist!), but alas, Ray was "insistent" that she not go inside. 

Right.

Nikki guessed that that he was married or had a girlfriend. 

So she stopped returning his calls and texts because he was, in her words, "weird and sneaky."

BUT HE WAS SO PRETTY!!!!!

Ray, devastated that she was ignoring him, showed up at Nikki's house a few days later and "poured his heart out." 

No, there was no girlfriend, but there were bigger issues. A cliffhanger. 

Despite his pretty life and beautiful facade, he had gotten caught up in a huge scam with the bank over real estate properties, "and was probably going to jail."

The IRS took his car and his houses, and he was staying with a friend. 

And he was so upset about the whole thing, he's been doing a lot of cocaine. Hahahaha 

(I didn't know this was a legal thriller!)

All of this was brand new information to Nikki. Theft, fraud and drugs?? 

That wasn't mentioned on the dust jacket!!! 
She was just looking for a (Danielle Steel) romance!!!  

Seriously, though, why would someone date another person for MONTHS without saying anything of this magnitude? 

She had become invested in him, spent countless hours "reading" him and enjoying him only to find out it all was just the biggest waste of time, ever. 

Hope there are some self-help books in jail. 

-Jenny

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