Tuesday, October 4, 2016

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

We’ve long been in an era where guys expect to sleep with someone after a first date.

…EVEN AFTER THEY ASK THE SERVER TO SPLIT THE CHECK.

You can’t blame a guy for trying I guess, since first date sleepovers happen all the time.

But it’s what happens after they get rejected for a sleepover that is a true test of their character.

LOL

(Yes, this is how low the bar is set.)

(Also….PAY FOR THE ENTIRE DINNER BILL.)

I can pretty much guarantee that how a guy handles a sleepover rejection is how he’ll handle any other obstacle in his life, so this really is a good test.

Did he get pouty? Persuasive? Weepy?

Jerry, on the other hand, got mean and rude.

Not a good look, Jerry.

Jerry and my friend Kylie went out on exactly one date, after meeting through co-workers at a restaurant where she worked.
Jerry was cute, from ENGLAND with the accompanying accent, and had a non-restaurant job.

He lived in a nice neighborhood in a cool part of downtown and they made plans for Kylie to park near his house and they would walk to a café nearby for dinner.

She rang the doorbell (how chivalrous!) when she got there and Jerry’s roommate answered.

He was also cute, although not from England. Ha. 

They made small talk about the restaurant where she worked and mutual friends who worked there, when Jerry came to the door and they left for the restaurant.

Kylie said it was a perfectly fine dinner date—and he paid!! Bonus!!

She said they didn’t have a whole lot of things in common but she would definitely have agreed to go out again. 

...Until they got back to his apartment and it was clear that he wanted her to sleep over.

There are a million, ok, fine, 20 reasons why she didn’t want to spend the night with Jerry, none of which were any of his business. 

But they did make out a little and then Kylie politely said that she was just going to go home for the night. 

And that’s when Jerry got rude.

“Oh, OK, so it’s going to be like THAT?” he asked, as if there was a THIS that they agreed on, and she was backing out of it.

Kylie suddenly found his accent less cute.

“Ummm if by ‘that’ you mean going home then yes,” she said, still trying to be casual.

Jerry pulled away from her, angry.

And then he took it really personally.

“Well, my flatmate upstairs thinks you’re pretty,” he said. “You can go upstairs and F*CK HIM if you want.”

!!!!!!!!!!!

???????

WHAT?!?!?

She didn’t want to F*ck anybody!

 “What?” she asked.

Was this some sort of bizarre back handed compliment?

“Well, you know, if I don’t do it for you, then you can always go upstairs.”

WHAT?!?!?

Well, if he was doing it for her, he certainly isn’t NOW.

How insulting.

Kylie said she was waiting for Jerry to laugh, or say it was a joke, but that didn’t happen. 

He immediately walked into the other room, leaving her alone in the living room.

Feeling horribly cheap, Kylie immediately left the apartment without saying goodbye.

...And thought seriously about giving him four flat tires.

-Jenny

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