Tuesday, August 23, 2016

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

It’s never fun to be rejected by a love interest after a few dates (uhhhh I know from personal experience), but some people handle it more gracefully than others.

At least I never threw a temper tantrum.

No, instead I deleted every text message we ever exchanged and then deleted his phone number completely so that if aliens came to Earth and found my phone, there would be no evidence of a rejection, or even a date, or the name Will.

Saving face in front of fictitious aliens—that’s adulting!

There are other people, however, who decide NOT to take this “see no rejection” approach and decide to be a complete asshole about it.

At least my friend Kerri has a cute story for how she and Dave met.

Kerri was dining alone at a restaurant for lunch and noticed the cute guy at the end of the bar who was also alone, paying his bill.

They exchanged awkward smiles and Kerri noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring (Score!)

As he passed by Kerri’s seat, he handed her the newspaper he had been reading (Ed note: SWOON)

“I thought since you were also alone, you might like some reading material,” he said. Kerri looked at the paper. He had written his phone number on it under the name Dave.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Great,” she said flirtatiously.  

And then he left.

It was an exciting exchange and really original and Kerri called him the next day. They made plans to go eat at a restaurant, together this time.

After two dates, Kerri said Dave was really cute and a nice guy, and they were both in the publishing world so they had something in common, but she wasn’t sure if she was attracted to him like that.

He hadn’t made any moves romantically, but he had bought her a copy of a book they talked about, which was sweet.

Kerri’s initial thoughts of not being attracted to him were confirmed when they had a lukewarm make-out session in his car after their third date.

“Ehh…” she describes.

LOL

They next day, Dave called to ask her out again. 

She responded with a rehearsed rejection that she thought would lessen the blow.

“The thing is, I’m not really interested in having a boyfriend,” she said. “Errr…the timing isn’t great.”

Then she indicated that she’d love to still be friends.

It was sort of true, but also made it seem like it was her and not him, which she thought was thoughtful.

Dave did not think it was thoughtful.

He flipped out.

After three dates. Geez.

“He said he ‘didn’t actually enjoy my company after all and didn’t want to see me again,’’ Kerri recalls.

LOL

LOL

LOL

Uhhhh….he didn’t enjoy her company? IS THAT WHY HE ASKED HER OUT FOR DATE NUMBER FOUR???

What a terrible thing to say to someone, just to hurt their feelings.

Kerri said Dave was so butt-hurt that he repeated that he didn’t like her company, didn't want to be friends at all
EVERand then asked her to return the book he got her.

LOL

THAT WAS A GIFT, DAVE.

SO BUTT-HURT, in fact, that I don’t think she should delete all evidence of him in her phone. 

Just in case the aliens have an anal probe.

-Jenny

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