Tuesday, March 1, 2016

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

It doesn’t do you ANY favors to lie about your appearance when online dating.

NEWSFLASH: They are going to see you.

During my YEARS of online dating, when I would meet up with someone in real life, I would ask all kinds of questions about who else they had met online.

Many of the complaints I got were that girls lied about how much they weighed. 

They would only upload face and neck-up shots, these guys explained, and then they would show up heavier than expected.

(Ugh and hahahahahaha at the same time)

This was seriously the most common complaint of the dozen or so guys I met and asked.

“I don’t even go out with girls that don’t post full body shots,” said one guy. “I’m not getting burned again.”

!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!

Ew.

I’ve heard similar complaints from my girl friends about guys' not-entirely-accurate descriptions of themselves online, too. 

Mainly, that guys lie about how terribly short they are.

…Like, even shorter than advertised.

Take the guy who said he was 5’10 when really he was 5’6. On his toes.

(Ugh and hahahahahaha at the same time).

Last week I heard about a new low: Max, this guy my friend Alice met online, did not tell her that he was Asian.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ON PURPOSE.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SURPRISE!!!!

LOL

“What do you mean ‘he didn’t tell you he was Asian?’ Didn’t you see his pictures?!?!?” I asked her.

Alice said yes, of course she saw his pictures, but he had strategically only posted photos that were ambiguously gay Caucasian.

They were all far away shots, and Max was wearing wrap-around sunglasses in all of them

(Get it?)

LOL

The thing was, Alice wouldn’t have minded him being Asian. But the point that he went out of his way to hide his ethnicity was gross.

It made her feel duped for some reason.

She said she almost apologized to him when she walked up to him at the bar since he couldn’t possibly be the white person she had planned to meet based on his photos.

That’s not starting off on the right foot, Max!!!!

Is she NOT going to notice that you’re Asian when you meet in person???

Are you just going to remain silent and see what happens?

UGH.

And that’s exactly what he did. He remained silent about the fact that he was basically another person who was 100 percent Asian.

Of course you can’t bring this up on a date.

Alice didn’t know what to do. She said she had exactly two beers and then made her exit (He wasn’t her type. LOL)

Alice was confused by this…miscommunication…then re-looked at his profile. And that's when she saw that he didn’t select an ethnicity on his profile.

LOL

Yes, he selected everything else –occupation, age, salary, religion…but he forgot one tiny little itty bitty description of himself.

What kind of bizarre plan was this???

This is not how online dating works!!!

Also…he was shorter than advertised.

LOL

-Jenny

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