My favorite part is Victor’s response when his girlfriend (my friend Amy) found a naked picture of a girl on his phone with an early morning, “I wish I was waking up with you” text.
“She and I are just friends," Victor said. "I can’t HELP what she sends me."
Personally, I’ve always said that men and women can be “just friends,” but then again, I’m not a boy with a penis, so I really don’t know both sides of the story.
Because the other side of the story is that some guys will pretend to be “just friends” with girls when HAHAHAHAHAHAHA they’re actually cheating on you with them.
Amy and Victor had known each other for a very long time but their timing and paths never crossed right. One day the stars aligned and they were madly in love and moved in together.
Amy was suspicious when Victor introduced her to his friend Liza with thoughtful details, like, “she and I used to work together at the bar...” and “she’s hilarious and amazing," but he never arranged for all three of them to hang out.
Victor would make it well-known that he and Liza were texting like crazy when Amy would ask him what the EFF he was doing staring at his phone all night.
He would use all kind of excuses. Like the night he and Amy went on a date to a cozy bar and his phone was blowing up with texts and calls, he told her, “Oh, it’s Liza. She’s really upset right now and wants to talk.”
It would start all kinds of fights.
“She KNOWS you have a girlfriend, right?” Amy yelled. “Because she’s disrespecting me now.”
“Yes. We’re just friends.”
It was completely disappointing. And embarrassing.
Victor continued to take full advantage of this “friendship,” and made plans for a “significant other-free” night with Liza (Ed note: HELLL NO) and then come home SHIT-FACED.
That was the last straw.
Amy screamed at him about how “friendly” the friendly drinks got, but he repeated the same line over and over.
“We’re just friends,” he said. “NOTHING IS GOING ON.”
Since Amy isn’t stupid (well aside from dating Victor), she took his phone while he was asleep the next morning and looked in horror to see a NAKED PICTURE of Liza and “I WISH I WAS WAKING UP WITH YOU” text.
“I can’t HELP what she sends me,” Victor said.
Obviously, Amy broke up with him. And obviously, Victor, fully committed, made a big stink about it, telling her she was just jealous and crazy.
Insisting to the death that he never cheated, blaming the breakup on her “trust issues” and paranoia.
THAT PESKY PARANOIA!!!
F.Y.I. VICTOR: GETTING NAKED PICTURES SENT TO YOUR PHONE FROM ANOTHER GIRL IS NOT PARANOIA. THAT’S ACTUALLY REAL.
Victor's instance that “nothing was going on” was the most infuriating.
Like...do you think girls are stupid?? Newsflash: people don’t get constant texts and NAKED photos from other girls when they are in a relationship.
“Nothing is going on. Nothing is going on. Nothing is going on.”
Right...except for the fact that oh, TWO MONTHS after Victor and Amy broke up, Liza announced she was pregnant. With his child.
That baby will need lots of friends.