Tuesday, November 3, 2015

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

When you live with someone you’re dating (or your parents) it’s common courtesy to let them know what you’re doing ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY and let them know if they should wait up for you (or feed you dinner, etc).

I suppose that if you like someone enough this won’t seem like such a chore. Haha

But that's the thing about dating: you care about where someone is, what time they get off work, etc.

So when they pull a God damn Houdini act, it’s not only annoying, but scary.

Like....when is a reasonable time to call the missing persons hotline?? 

OR CHECK THE COUNTY ARREST RECORDS (more people I know have done this check on their significant others than not.)

My friend Julie’s boyfriend, Clay, had a particular problem with not letting her know where he was. 

It was like he had this warped “ask for forgiveness rather than permission” philosophy. Even if he was doing something totally innocent that she'd totally be OK with.

SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING. 

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS LIVING WITH SOMEONE YOU'RE DATING.

But not only would Clay not tell Julie where he was or what he was doing, but he would make up these elaborate lies about where he was instead.

Very specific lies.

Like, “Oh, yea, I’m taking your car to get detailed Saturday morning and I’ll be back around noon.”

!!!!!!

Normally that would be a dream boyfriend line.

...But NOT when said boyfriend doesn't return calls or texts all day and shows back up at the apartment at 6 p.m. with a DIRTY car on empty, saying something about "too long a line."

Hahahahahaha

WTF

“Where were you????” she asked.

“I told you...waiting in line,” he said.

LOL

This situation went on for way longer than Julie likes to admit, because Clay always seemed like a stand-up guy.

But when they lived together, his name was on “auto-fill” in the arrest records search after not being able to reach him.

Ugh

The final straw came when he lied about a home-cooked meal.

DON'T NOBODY LIE ABOUT A HOME-COOKED MEAL!!!

Julie said it was a cold and rainy day and she called Clay on her lunch break having a supremely bad day.

“It’s OK, baby,” Clay said. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll cook you a delicious meal tonight and we’ll get into comfy clothes and watch a movie together, how about that?”

That sounded perfect.

“How about pot roast?”

OMG PERFECT.

Julie drove home that night, windshield wipers on full blast, her mouth watering as she pulled up to their apartment. 

Then she frowned. None of the lights were on.

WTF?

Did he fall asleep?

Julie walked into the apartment and instead of finding a warm home with a delicious meal on the stove, it was cold. And empty.

WTF!!!!!!!

She texted Clay all night long—Where are you? Hello? What about dinner?—and got zero response. 

She went to bed scared and furious that night still hearing nothing from Clay.

Until he walked in...at 3 a.m.

UGGGGGHHH

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??” Julie cried.

“Oh...yea, I started drinking with my co-workers and we just drank all night!” he said nonchalantly.

“WHAT ABOUT ME AND DINNER? YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO COOK ME DINNER AND WATCH A MOVIE!

He ignored her.

!!!!!!!!!!!

Uggghhhh

Who does that???!?!?

!!!!!!!!!!!

How incredibly infuriating. 

Why specifically say POT ROAST and a movie??? And then not call or text to say you got held up or changed your plans???

Why would you let someone down like that?? 

Over and over???

It was doubly disappointing. 

OH AND HER CAR WAS STILL DIRTY.

Julie kicked Clay out soon after that.

She didn’t ask for permission.

Or forgiveness.

-Jenny

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