Tuesday, June 2, 2015

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

EVERYONE DELETE TINDER!
THE CREEPS HAVE INFILTRATED!

(I know, this might not be new information to some people)

Creeps: people who just want to collect naked pictures from girls online and who have NO interest in checking out that new wine shop that opened down the street.

Most recently, this creeper named Chris. My friend Jessica matched up with Chris on Tinder. He was seemingly a nice guy and his Tinder profile specifically stated that he was “ready to settle down with the right person.”

LOLLOL

Jessica was hopeful because she, too, wanted to settle down with the right person. 

But then when they moved from Tinder chatting to real life texting, all Chris wanted was for her to send him an underwear picture.

Ummmm.....after-school special!!

Don’t do it Jessica!!

Jessica said Chris was seemingly a catch: he was cute, he wrote that he was a DOCTOR (LOL, sure) and they had plans to go out that Sunday evening when he got back into town. She gave him her phone number.

But then, his first text asked if she could send him “more pictures.”

Jessica, through her rose-colored glasses (which included blinders), thought maybe Chris just wanted to see if she looked like she did in her Tinder photos, so she sent him a picture of her at a concert from the week before.

He didn’t respond.

LOL

Then she said, “Send me a picture from New York City!”

Chris sent her a photo of the skyline.

“So pretty!” she wrote.

Jessica was admiring the skyscrapers photo, when Chris sent her another photo...of a hotel room suite.

HAHAHAHAHA

And then a picture of A HOTEL ROOM BED.

And then a picture of his abs.

OMG.

Who asked for a picture of his abs?!?!?




 LOL

(ED NOTE: AFTER FURTHER INSPECTION, THAT IS NOT A PICTURE TAKEN IN A HOTEL ROOM, HOTEL ROOMS DON’T HAVE CEILING FANS. 

I CALL FAKE ABS!!!)

Then he wrote, “I wish you were here. I’d take you out tonight to the XX lounge it’s hot.”

Um what?

I wish you were here??

(Clarification: he wishes she was there...in his bed)

Jessica didn’t know how to respond to any of the pictures.

There was nothing in her Tinder profile or otherwise that made it seem like she was into greasy ab pics OR hotel room beds.

She said something like “well have fun at a cool bar, I’m at work. It’s boring here”

...which Chris obviously didn’t read because he wrote, “Your turn to send a photo."

Jessica sent him another picture of her at the concert, hahaha

“That doesn’t count at all” Chris wrote.

!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

“That doesn’t count at all.”

DOESN’T COUNT!!!

Who tells a girl that a cute photo of her at a concert DOESN’T COUNT?!?!

CHRIS doesn’t count!!!!!!!!

When she realized that all he wanted was a nudie picture, she stopped texting him immediately.

And once Chris realized that she wasn’t going to text him a nudie picture, he too, stopped texting immediately.

!!!

HAHAHA

SEE YA!!!

Seriously, their 10-text total exchange ended with a cute photo of her and then his super thoughtful, “that doesn’t count at all” 

A week passed and their Sunday night plans were never mentioned as the weekend came and went.

LOL

What a douche!

Even more devastating, Jessica told her friends at the gym about it thinking it was an isolated douche incident, but then kept hearing story after story from girls who said the same thing happened to them!

Creep-trolls on Tinder only looking for naked pics!!!

Under the guise of saying they are “ready to settle down with the right person.”

(Also acting like a shirtless abs pic with no face is the equivalent of a girl in her bra and panties.)

UGH

This is an infiltration!!!

EVERYONE DELETE TINDER!!!

Make it count.

-Jenny

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