Tuesday, January 6, 2015

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

I’d love to hire a social media/marketing person who could blast out a viral “article” to every single guy on the dating scene entitled: “82 THINGS GUYS SHOULD DO ON A FIRST DATE...YOU WON’T BELIEVE NUMBER 4!”

...and then numbers 1-82 would ALL be the same thing:

“Take her out to a damn restaurant and pay the bill.”

This is not a joke; many guys really wouldn’t believe number 4:

“Take her out to a damn restaurant and pay the bill.”


...Because guys who actually do that are in the minority these days.

It would be more depressing if it weren’t for the fact that no one wants to date those losers anyway.

You know, the ones who would rather, instead of take someone out in public, just take them to bed.

Those guys should just call a prostitute.

The most hilarious cases are the ones where guys try and reason why they won’t take someone out on a date.

Not surprisingly, this is most common in online dating.

(I think guys think Tinder is actually a prostitute line.)

Case in point: My friend Marie just quit her Tinder account after a THIRD guy that she had “matched” with suggested for their first meeting that she come over to his house.

!!!!!!

His straight-up address sent to her inbox.

Like she was a prostitute.

“I have red wine...” he wrote.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(It was insulting and not to mention he lived in a terrible part of town, yuck.)

The guy in question was Dimitri, a very cute and buff guy from up north who had supposedly just moved down south for a job. Marie and Dimitri spent a lot of time chatting back and forth about their hometowns, their jobs, blah, blah.

Marie said they talked about their love of red wine and some cool wine bars around town but instead of asking her out to ANY of said bars, he asked her to come over to HIS house. Address sent.

“I have red wine...” he wrote.

!!!!!!

Hahahahaha

Who FALLS for that???

Marie was completely offended.

“Ummm...ladies like to be taken out in public,” she wrote back.  

Maybe he just needs a HINT, she thought. (Maybe 82 hints...check out number 4!)

But Dimitri didn’t need a hint at all.

His response?

“Well, I don’t know you very well so I don’t want to meet at a bar.”

Hahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Amazing logic.

Marie quickly called him on it.

“Wait, you don’t know me very well but you’re more comfortable with me coming over to your house than meeting me at a public place? That’s completely backwards.”

Hahahahahahaha

It was backwards, but Dimitri wasn’t about to be fooled by Marie’s rationality.

He responded a few minutes later with a simple message:

“I hope you find your knight in shining armor.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!

????????

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What the hell was THAT supposed to mean??

Marie wrote back something like, “yea I’ll keep looking” and decided right then that she was deleting Tinder off her phone.

“OH MY GOD PLEASE SEND ME SCREEN GRABS OF THAT CONVERSATION BEFORE YOU DELETE THE APP,” I told her.

(I love a Toolbag Tuesday with visual aides.)

“Ok,” she said, looking at her phone.

But as Marie scrolled, she paused, confused.

Dimiti was no longer a match on the Tinder app, nor did he show up in her messages.

Then Marie realized that Dimitri blocked her.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

BLOCKED HER!

YOU CAN BLOCK PEOPLE!!!

Hahahaha 

What the hell did SHE do to get blocked???

Marie was hurt for .5 seconds until she thought, ummm who the F cares.

She's got 82 problems, but Tinder ain’t one.

-Jenny

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...