Tuesday, February 25, 2014

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

File this under WTF DID YOUR MAMMA TEACH YOU???!?? —>  DON’T break up with someone on their birthday.

Do I really need to explain this…again??

Is there some sort of alternate planet people are living on where birthdays AREN’T special and no big deal if you make someone wish they had never been BORN on the very day of their birth???

Ugh.

William, my friend Allison’s ex-boyfriend, wasn’t exactly on another planet, but he was in another country.

He was in Spain.

For Allison’s 22nd birthday.

With Allison.

Tagging along on HER trip abroad in college.

…Riiight.

Yes, William decided he was going to fly ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE WORLD to be with her on her birthday and then drop bombs. 

BOMBS OVER BARCELONA!!!!!

Birthday terrorist.

William and Allison had been dating on and off for YEARS and even though he was older than she was, they both had a lot in common and enjoyed each other’s company.

When Allison said she was going to Spain for two months to do an accelerated Spanish program, William was nothing but supportive and planned a trip to see her SPECIFICALLY for her birthday. His trip had been decided months prior.

Now, just because you decide to break up with someone doesn’t mean it should ruin a perfectly good vacation.

Just kidding. DON’T go on vacation.

But William was living on another planet (planet douche) and he was going on vacation, dammit.

He was going to Spain and there’s no place like SPAIN to tell someone that maybe ya’lls age difference is too great and you should part ways.

...OH, AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD STILL SHARE A HOTEL ROOM FOR THE REMAINING EIGHT DAYS OF HIS TRIP.

Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahaha

P.S. He dropped this news at her intimate candlelit birthday dinner.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Insert voice of Stephanie Tanner: How RUDE

He should have just sent her an email with his age difference concerns.

After the BOMB, William told her that he doesn’t have enough money to go stay somewhere by himself, so…"let’s just make the best of what’s left of my trip.”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahaha

I'm sorry...the "best"?????

WTF DID HIS MAMMA TEACH HIM????

I personally would have thrown him out the ventana (Spanish for window.)

To make matters even WORSE (and even more like a movie scene) Allison started crying right there at the table and said the old man server thought she was upset because it was her birthday.

“The guy kept repeating, 'Why you cry, you not old, very pretty,’” she recalls.

(awwwww)

…Which made her cry even more.

(At least SOMEONE gave her a compliment on her birthday)

The whole thing was just horrible. 

SOMEONE CALL THE EMBASSY!!!
A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!!!

Put this dude in a room with no ventanas.

-Jenny

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