Tuesday, January 1, 2013

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

My college roommate Amanda had just broken up with her boyfriend Alex for the umpteenth time and was simultaneously studying for her chemistry final.

It wasn’t just a chemistry final, it was pre-med chemistry final, a grade medical schools would scrutinize and a grade other pre-med students would secretly judge her on. It was a big deal.

 Alex knew all this.

 Amanda decided to break up with him the night before her test, which wasn’t very smart.

 Alex didn’t take breakups with her seriously. And he didn’t take them lying down.

 "I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” He screamed into her phone, repeatedly interrupting her all-nighter.

 “Alex, I can’t talk to you right now about this,” Amanda said. “I’ll talk to you after my test.”

That went in one ear and out the other. Even though he was a junior in college, and should have known the severity of exams, Alex must have called 18 more times after that. It got so excessive, we had to silence our dorm room landline (Awwww. Landlines.)

The next morning, blurry eyed and delirious, Amanda walked to campus to take the chemistry exam. She wasn’t very good at chemistry and was still trying to memorize notecards.

She walked into the building and then noticed in horror that Alex was standing by the door.

 “I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!” He insisted. It was five minutes until the test. Amanda brushed him away.

 “NO!” she hissed. “GO AWAY!”

 “I’M NOT LEAVING!” he said. She walked into the classroom, wholly occupied by Alex standing there.

 HE’S CRAZY! She thought. What, was she supposed to be impressed with his persistence?

She tried to get it out of her head and review the periodic table in these last few minutes, but then she looked at the door and saw Alex’s FACE in the tiny window. He was staring at her. STARING!! With no clue how rude and selfish he was being.

She gave him her most serious face and mouthed GO AWAY, as the professor announced it was time to put everything away. Amanda was fuming.

As she looked over the complicated problems and experiments, she couldn’t help but glance at the window. More often than not, she saw Alex PACING by the door. PACING. Like a lion. Waiting for her.

WHY COULDN’T HE TAKE A HINT?? WHY WAS HE RUINING HER TEST??!!! Amanda was on her way to blow the biggest exam of the semester.

That’s when the professor noticed the pacing lion outside his classroom. Amanda was in the middle of a solution when the professor broke the silence and said, “Who is that?”

Amanda froze and everybody in the classroom turned to look at the door. Alex was still there, unaware that he was being called out, STILL STARING AT AMANDA.

“WHO IS THAT?” The professor said more angrily, assuming it was someone helping a student cheat. No one said anything. Amanda held her breath.

Alex’s face turned to fear when he saw the professor walk over to the door. The whole class was staring. Amanda wanted to die.

By the time he got to the door, Alex had bolted. But that didn’t stop the professor from yelling, “GET AWAY FROM MY DOOR! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING??”

Hahahahahahahahaha

“Back to work,” he told the class as walked back to his desk. But it was impossible to concentrate. Where was Alex now? Was he waiting by her car?? CLIMBING THROUGH THE AIR DUCTS??? She scribbled solutions with only half confidence.

After an eternity, the exam was over. Amanda cautiously walked outside the classroom.

There was Alex, sitting on a nearby bench. He hadn’t gone but 10 feet from the door. You think he'd be embarassed.

“LEAVE. ME. ALONE!” Amanda said, as all the other students stared at the mystery person who caused all the commotion. It was mortifying.

“NO, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS!” he said loudly. “YOU SAID WE COULD TALK AFTER YOUR EXAM!”

!!!
REALLY ALEX????

Amanda just shook her head and walked away.
 
In this case, there was no solution.

-Jenny

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