Tuesday, April 3, 2012

TOOLBAG TUESDAY


There are a few simple rules that people in the dating world should just KNOW:

1.) Tip at least 20 percent, especially if you’re on a date

2.) Don’t plan a date only to not follow up/show up or cancel the last minute for no good reason

3.) When you hook up with someone, don’t invite him/her to a party a week later if you plan on kissing a different invited guest.

Perhaps No. 3 isn’t as obvious. 

Shouldn’t it be, though? 
Isn’t that just good manners??

This mortifying situation happened to my friend Shae, who spent a hot and heavy weekend with Steve, a guy friend, only to have him make out with someone else five days later in front of her face. 

Shae and Steve had known each other for almost a year, and always flirted. They hooked up after she became single and she said it was everything she had imagined it would be. 

For two days in a row, they didn’t leave his apartment.

She really liked him. To the point that she overlooked stuff she normally would frown at, like his dumb tattoo, or his terrible taste in television. (Who keeps FOX news on during “you know what”??? WHO????)

Once Sunday evening came, Shae grudgingly left his apartment to go home and get ready for the work week. 

“I’m having a BBQ next weekend at my house and you should come,” Steve said. “Also, let’s get dinner this week.”

“Definitely,” Shae said. 

She waited with high hopes but Steve never followed up on dinner (see rule #2...ugh...). 

But, with the BBQ on the horizon, she held on to the hope that they would go for romp round two.

They had mutual friends who were going to the party and Shae told all of her girlfriends about how she and Steve DID IT. 

Despite our wariness – Steve did have a reputation – the sweet nothings she described sounded genuine. 

It was a lovely BBQ. Everyone knew everyone there except for three newcomers – two girls and a guy. 

Normally, this would be a welcomed opportunity to make new friends, but it was clear very quickly that Steve was hitting on one of these girls.

All of our smiles faded. 
Did he really double book for his BBQ???

Did he forget that he and Shae spent a full 48 hours together last weekend...naked?

“Who...is...that?” Shae asked, hurt. We all shrugged. 

Where did this person come from? She certainly wasn’t on the Facebook event list.

Somebody’s boyfriend said he thought Steve met her on the golf course that day or something else random and preppy. 

Basically, the girl was a stranger.

Shae mustered up confidence and went over to talk to Steve, trying to be flirty herself. 

It was just a casual conversation about the week and what he was grilling, etc. etc., when the mystery girl walked by in the middle of their conversation.

That’s when Steve lost his manners.

“Hold on a second,” he said to Shae, INTERRUPTING HER MID-SENTENCE, to turn around and grab the girl and plant a kiss on her lips...two feet away from where Shae stood, jaw dropped.

FIVE days after Shae left his apartment wearing HIS T-SHIRT, feeling on top of the world.

We gasped. Everyone was now looking at this gratuitous display of affection in the middle of his back deck, and most of the party guests knew that he and Shae had hooked up the previous weekend. 

Insert voice of Stephanie Tanner from Full House: How Rude.
Was this a deliberate attempt to let Shae know that he wasn’t interested in her? Did she even cross his mind at all?? 
Either way, it was embarassing.

All of Shae's hopes about the two of them came crashing down, like a game of Jenga.

Shae immediately left the party (followed by us in tow) and almost kicked the TV that was turned to Fox news on her way out. 

And muttered something about a dumb tattoo...

-Jenny

1 comment:

  1. Will you please use a different name for your toolbags?

    ReplyDelete

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