Tuesday, January 3, 2012

TOOLBAG TUESDAY

Sometimes, if you’re about to act crazy over a significant other (or your ex), it helps to step outside of yourself and evaluate how your behavior would look to an impartial third party.


Because then maybe you wouldn’t do things like log on Facebook as someone else just to stalk your ex...who deleted you as a friend.


Or maybe you’d take another way to work rather than drive past your ex’s house every morning just to see if her car is there...and then text her, “late night I guess” when you don’t see it.


I mean...uh, look at yourself.


An impartial third party would definitely not approve of Derek’s behavior, this guy who dated my friend Rebecca.


In fact, they’d probably have called the cops on him.


Rebecca and Derek dated for years, even though they fought a lot and he was incredibly immature...as in he’d send her pictures of him sticking his tongue out at her like a 5-year-old on the school yard.


One particular fight got out of control with Derek’s crazy.


They were at Rebecca’s house and she was furious at him for some reason and took her car keys and left to go to a friend’s house.


“I can’t deal with you anymore!” she yelled and ran to the driveway.


Her friend only lived about ten minutes away but there was an interstate between them. Rebecca was furiously driving when she heard an incessant car honk behind her.


She looked in the rearview mirror and saw Derek’s car. He had followed her. And he was honking at her.


WTF!!!


Her blood boiled as he pulled around to her passenger side, being an unsafe driver.


She was about to yell obscenities at him through the window - while making sure not to crash her car on the interstate – when she saw him hold up about eight of her purses through the window.


Rebecca was obsessed with her purses, and Derek knew it. He figured they would be the possessions she’d miss the most.


He had obviously grabbed the expensive ones on his way out of her house and was now waving them in front of her face.


“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!!!” She screamed across the highway, still trying not to get into a car accident.


Her jaw dropped as Derek HELD THE PURSES OUTSIDE OF THE WINDOW, DANGLING THEM ABOVE THE ASPHALT. To make it weirder, as he was doing this he yelled, “Who’s the winner now?!?!” Who’s the winner now??!?!”


Omg.


"DON'T YOU DARE!" she screamed. "DON'T YOU DARE!!!"


An impartial third party would NOT approve of this behavior – a guy holding up his girlfriends’ purses outside a car window ON THE INTERSTATE while asking her who “the winner” is? I mean, picture this scene in your head. I would have called the cops.


(By the way, the answer to his question was neither. Neither one were winners.)


Thankfully, Derek never dropped the purses...probably because Rebecca would have murdered him. But, it was still the final straw in their relationship.


She’s definitely moved on, but still, when Rebecca hears a car horn behind her, she gets nervous.


And she holds her bag extra tight.


-Jenny

3 comments:

  1. If my wife had a nickle now for every time she's gonna hear the phrase..."who's the winner now?"...in the future, we could both retire today.

    That is as hilarious as it is bizarre.

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  2. Wow that's slightly insane, sounds like something out of a movie. That guy sure snapped big time. Would be a funny sight as a bystander though, some random guy shouting from a car, waving around a whole bunch of purses, rather hilarious.

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  3. Oh my gosh! That is equally hysterical and horrifying. Whenever someone honks at me, I am going to forever think of this story.

    Who's the winner now???

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