Tuesday, February 22, 2011

TOOLBAG TUESDAY


Facebook chat:

Chris: what are you doing
Annie: 
checking my email and breathing how bout yourself?

Chris: ok. prepare for a phone call in like 20 minutes. 
i'm getting naked now


This sounds like the beginning of a randy little evening for Chris and Annie, right?

Wrong. They are exes.
And Chris is engaged.

Which brings me to what I thought was an obvious question: is sexy Facebook chatting with other people considered cheating?

Annie and I both say yes.

Chris seemed to think…otherwise. He was persistent in getting Annie to engage in a NotSafeForWork conversation and didn’t even try to hide the “engaged to..” on the side of his page.

As Annie explains, in a chat between her and myself:

“I just found him on here last week
and yesterday he chatted me on his lunch break and made me tell him all the stories I remembered about hooking up with him
at first i was like nice a trip down
memory lane
and then i realized he was getting off on it
geeeeeez”


They had only been Facebook friends for a WEEK and he started this!
He must have been super horny desperate.

So what did Annie do? She emailed his fiancé — a women she’s never met — about her and Chris' Facebook conversations.

It was partly to let her know what kind of Toolbag she was planning to walk down the aisle with. FYI, guys (toolbags) really hate this secret girl code.

(A guy once told me that it was “effing bullshit” that girls who haven’t been friends for 10 years will immediately text and call each other if they see the other’s boyfriend getting close with another girl. Bullshit for you, I told him.)

But, Annie’s motivation for emailing his fiance was also to get Chris to stop bothering her.

As she explains:

Annie: “So I just fb messaged the girl whose fiance constantly is writing me shit like this:
Chris: what are you doing
Annie: 
checking my email and breathing how bout yourself?

Chris: ok. prepare for a phone call in like 20 minutes. 
i'm getting naked now

i copied and pasted that into the message and said stop your fiance from writing shit like this to me
.”


Annie hit send.
Chris freaked out.

He immediately took to his — wait for it — Facebook chat — to settle this “misunderstanding.”
And, he had to insult Annie while he was at it. Because that’s what toolbags do when they’re caught doing something bad.

According to Chris, the “I’m getting naked” comment was merely a side note to let her know that he was taking a shower.

Awww, was that the story his poor fiancé was supposed to believe?

Chris: What's your problem?
Annie: i thought we could be just friends Chris. I mean youre freaking engaged so why dont you start acting like it. Ive just had enough
Chris: What the hell are you talking about? I was jumping in the shower and wanted to talk to someone while I was driving downtown. Yeah, I've had enough too. I don't know what kind of "issues" you have or had but damn, you need to get some things taken care of.


Hahaha, right. Annie has issues.

Annie — the single girl who totally could have sexy chatted with him with a clear conscious, but DIDN’T because he’s engaged. (And a toolbag.)

I guess somebody needs to be the Facebook moral police and unfortunately it can’t be left up to guys even if they've "put a ring on it."

The last thing Annie wrote to Chris before deleting him as a friend was:

Annie: GOOD LUCK

I think that well-wishing should go to his fiancé instead.

After all, divorce is expensive.

-Jenny

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