So, a girl tells her boyfriend that she’s going out with the girls on Friday night and not to wait up.
When she’s not back by morning, her boyfriend gets concerned and calls her girl friends.
“No, haven’t seen her,” one says.
“Me either,” say the others.
His girlfriend returns home with a passable excuse, but he’s pissed. So he decides to go out with the guys the next night. He tells her not to wait up.
When he’s not back by morning, she calls his guy friends.
Of them, four said they saw him last night, two said he spent the night on their couch and one said he was currently in the shower.
My dad told me that joke last week. Haha
The moral, I guess, is that guys will lie to cover each other’s asses more than girls will.
What it DOESN’T mean is that it’s cool for a boyfriend to call his girlfriend’s friends when he’s looking for her.
Because, you know, I’m not a GPS.
My college roommate Liz’s boyfriend, Ben (already a Toolbag Tuesday STAR!) didn’t get that, and for the year or so that they dated, he would call ME to see where Liz was.
“I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS!” he would say.
Ben and Liz had a pretty volitale relationship and she would deliberately not call him back or let him know what she was doing.
I stopped picking up Ben’s phone calls when I realized he was just using me to keep tabs on Liz.
But, I had a dumb phone at the time that would automatically pick up if someone was calling while I was texting.
This happened one night when I was actually out with Liz. She and Ben had just gotten into a huge fight, which she told me about, and she wasn’t picking up his phone calls.
So he went with Plan B: Me.
Normally, I would have ignored his call, but of course I was texting at the time, and my phone picked up.
“SHIT!” I said loudly right as Liz said, “What?” and I put my finger over my mouth like shhhhhh and hung up, but it was too late.
Ben already heard Liz’s voice in the background.
He called back seven times in a row.
(The fact that I said “Shit” in response to accidentally picking up his phone call did not deter him.)
“WHERE ARE YALL?” he texted, in all caps when I didn’t pick up (or text for the rest of the night).
Liz and I laughed at his crazinesss, but really, it was starting to get on my nerves.
Because a lot of times, I wasn’t with Liz and I had no idea what she told him she was doing.
“Where is she?” he would text. And then call.
What was I supposed to say? The first few times, when I said I didn’t know, he’d press me for information that I DID know, like did I see her this morning?
Did she make it to class? Is her CAR PARKED OUTSIDE THE HOUSE?
As such, I grew to ignore any phone interactions with Ben. And when I’d see him in person, he would never acknowledge assaulting my phone. He was the worst.
I recently learned from a high school friend that another high school friend’s HUSBAND used to call her all the time looking for his wife.
“WHERE IS SHE?” he would demand.
“Dude…no clue,” she would write back.
After comparing notes, my high school friend and I didn’t understand why these guys always had the same response:
“I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS.”
I mean, is that a threat? Are you calling us liars?
Because, OK, maybe I know where she is, but she obviously doesn’t want YOU to know. So, that’s awkward…for me.
And, side note, why would I give my best friend's exact location to a psycho?
Now, before I get a whole bunch of calls and texts about this post, let me say that I know that phones die, or get left at home, and there is certainly a time and place for boyfriends to call/text their girlfriends’ friends.
I’ve texted my friend’s boyfriend looking for her before.
But there’s a level of desperation when you call seven times, or when you’re calling because it’s a last resort.
There’s a difference between “What time are y’all getting to the bar?” and “I KNOW YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS!”